Once upon a time, there was this thing called “Customer Service”
I hate bad customer service.
HATE.
Nothing in the world will flip my bitch-switch faster than being treated poorly at a place I am giving money too. On more than one occasion I have stopped shopping at a store for just such a thing. Here are a few of my sure-fired switch-flippers:
- “That’s not my department.” I DON’T CARE. You happen to be the only person in a store uniform I’ve encountered in the last 30 minutes of searching. What is the company name on your pay cheque? You work for that store, either you can help me, or you can find someone who can help me. Don’t leave me alone with your sad excuse.
- Treating me like my time isn’t as valuable as yours. I’m glad you own your own salon. It’s really hard work owning your own business, and you seem to be doing well at it. So well I need to book 3 weeks in advance for my appointment. That seems fair to me, I like to go on my lunch hour so I have my evenings free. What’s not fair is knowing your appointments are running at least 15 minutes behind before I even arrive for mine and not telling me. I am on my lunch break, I told you that while you were booking me. You could let me know when I walk in that you are running behind and ask me if I would care to wait or reschedule. You would like me to give you 24 hours notice of cancellations, but won’t extend me the courtesy of a heads up?
- Talking down to me. I may not know about the performance and specifications of the latest widget to hit the shelves, but I’m not a moron. If I approach you with a smile and ask my questions, please don’t sneer at me and give me a snide answer. Odds are, if I’m in a brick and mortar store, it’s because I don’t want to wait on shipping. I already know more about your product than you do because I’ve read the information available and the reviews. Don’t patronize me and I won’t treat you the same.
- Don’t correct me. If you think I am asking the wrong question, or have incorrect information, ask for clarification. Don’t look me in the face and tell me I’m wrong before I’m finished speaking. It’s rude and it’s ignorant (also see #3).
- Accuse me of lying. I once returned a pair of jeans that were a good 6″ too long. I returned them, tags attached, receipt in hand less than 3 days after I’d bought them. The girl at the counter sniffed the jeans and told me they smelled like laundry detergent. I lost my marbles on her. All I’d wanted to do was exchange them for the correct length, and I had spent a shit-ton of money at this store 3 days before. That was 3 years ago, I haven’t been back since. No, YOU’RE bitter.
- Don’t call me Ma’am.For the love of all that is Holy don’t call me Ma’am. There is no faster way to make a lady over 25 feel like a crone. Call me Miss, Ms. or by my name. Unless you look like this:
What’s your biggest customer service no-no?
Hot in Herre…
I’ve been home with the kids for the last week or so. But yesterday and today have been crazy warm for Calgary. The most productive thing I did yesterday was cook dinner. In the microwave (thank God for Pampered Chef and my DCB). Oh, the kids and I got slurpees too.
Today I sent the kids outside to play and they came right back in. So I set up the deck umbrella and gave them a freezie each. They came back for 2 more freezies each before they finally gave up on playing outside. All I can think about is this poem, and how I would like to sit around in my bones…
Because smoked oysters suck almost as much as HPV
There’s been a lot of talk here about HPV vaccinations in schools this week. In Calgary, the Catholic School District (CSSD)has decided not to make them available in school for the children.
This doesn’t mean that Catholic girls are not eligible to have the shot, it simply means that the CSSD has said it can’t happen on their property. Alberta Health Services offers the vaccinations for free at all health offices, so parents can take their children for shots whenever it is convenient.
I am personally glad to have another 4 years to observe the effects of the vaccine before worrying about whether or not my daughter should have it. I am a very pro-vaccination parent, but with any new medicine I think time and observation is prudent. I know about the testing and research that goes into making new vaccines and drugs, I know the Canadian government is stringent about approving new treatments, but I am also a mother and that means I worry.
When my daughter is the correct age for the HPV vaccine, I will likely get her immunized (barring cases of 3rd arms growing etc.) and I will explain to her what HPV is and why it’s important to protect herself from this virus. I will let her know that this vaccine will not protect her from any STD’s, pregnancy or nasty rumors about her virtue. I will tell her that the only 100% proven method of prevention is abstinence, and then I will tell her about why. I’m fairly certain she won’t listen to a word past “abstinence”, which is why I’m activating my “chastity” game plan now. That’s a whole other story, it also may or may not involve a gun and a shovel in my front hall. If you have a daughter, you understand.
The way I see it, if I tell you that you are not allowed to bring smoked oysters into my house because that is the rule, you are supposed to understand and leave those smelly, rubbery things at home. You are welcome to question me about my rule and you are allowed to argue your case to have them. In the end, it is my property, and I am allowed to tell you to go home and eat the vile things there. Same thing with Catholic schools, if you want HPV vaccines, you are welcome to them, just not in their house.
My main point here is that the CSSD isn’t doing anything illegal or even immoral. As a parent in the Catholic school system I feel neither deprived nor angered by the fact that this vaccine may not be available in school. It’s part of a wonderful little thing we have in Canada called religious freedom. It’s not always convenient, but it is lovely to have. It goes hand in hand with other fantastic rights & freedoms like protesting for or against abortion and wearing tank tops in the summer. Yes it will be slightly more inconvenient for me to drive 20 minutes to the health center (3 separate times!) to get immunizations, but I kinda understood not everything in life would be convenient once I had kids.
Convenience to me now is both kids behaving well enough on a Saturday morning for me to have a light-speed shower and brush my teeth before fighting breaks out or they attempt to burn the house down. AGAIN.
Spring is in the air, crap is in the river
Every year when the weather finally warms up here in Calgary I see hosts of citizens taking part in the time-honoured tradition of washing their car in the driveway. Then I shake my head because every one of these people is breaking the law.
I would like to believe with so many people moving here from other parts of Canada and the world, maybe you just don’t know what the local bylaws are. Calgary has a drainage bylaw that states nothing but water should ever go down our storm drains. Not soap, oil, old paint, toddler diapers or a half-finished beer.
THERE IS A REALLY GOOD REASON FOR THIS BYLAW.
No, the folks at city hall are not a bunch of driveway party-poopers, no one’s trying to sell you out and force you to pay high car wash prices. The reason this bylaw is in place is this: everything that goes into a storm drain in Calgary flows directly into the river UNTREATED. It does not go to the treatment plant, it does not pass go and they do NOT clean that crap out of the water.
So, if the thought of all the poor unsuspecting wildlife in and along the river being poisoned by your waste doesn’t tug at your heartstrings, think about this; the rivers flows into the two water treatment plants in Calgary, you know, the ones we get our drinking water from. Now of course the water is treated. They do a great job of it. What I always wonder is, how do they get the heavy metals, toxins, detergents, petroleum products etc. out of the water? It needs to be processed and re-processed, more chemicals added and more energy burned to make sure you don’t drink any of that antifreeze you rinsed off your car/driveway.
I know I’m a bit preachy about this. But really people, is it so hard to go to a car wash? They pay special taxes to make sure their water is treated before it goes anywhere that it might touch a living thing. It’s not about what is convenient for you. Here is an easy to read brochure if you’re still bamboozled by my highly technical talky-talk.
Oh, but if you are still thinking about what is convenient for you, being caught in violation of this bylaw could see you being fined anywhere from $75 – $10,000. I’ll tell you what is convenient; paying fines to the City, SO convenient.
The Best Birthday Gift EVER
Did you know today is my birthday? I’ll give you a minute so you can plan a wonderful surprise for me…
Ok, now just scrap that idea. The best birthday gift you could give me is to donate to my Walk for MS. Just click that cute little picture of the shoes over there on the right hand side of the page and make a donation. I’m not picky about how much you want to give, every little bit helps. You can pay with credit card, or even paypal (select under payment type). You’ll get a tax receipt for every donation over $20 instantly as a pdf so really, you get the money back. Plus, your donation will make my birthday wishes come true, which as we all know is the real reason we are all here 
If every one of my Facebook and Twitter friends donated $5, I would more than exceed my goal of $1000. I’m worth $5 right? I mean just in sheer comedic value. $5 would get you a whole year of laughing at my kids and my hilarious hijinks. Ok, well, you’ll get that anyway, but I could charge for it.
Your donation to the MS walk helps to fund research for a cure and community programs that support those who are living with this disease.
You can go here to donate right now, or you can go here to learn more about MS.
XOXOXO – Jackie
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