Well…kinda.

On Monday I got a phone call from Mr. Ron Richard, who you may (but probably not) know is the husband of one Sandi Richard.

Who is she?

Well, she is only my dinner HERO! She writes THE best cookbooks. They have 6-8 weeks of meal plans, and corresponding grocery lists. Her books have made my dinnertime life so much easier. Anyhow…

So Ron calls me (I had written them earlier in the year and answered a survey they sent me) and asks me if I want to come to their house and film a testimonial for Sandi’s books. Well let me tell you, I jumped at the chance! Not only could I meet my hero in the flesh, but I was going to be on camera? I’ll be there at 5:30 thank you, oh, you’re an hour away from me. No problem!

So Tuesday comes, I’m in a cute outfit and my hair is curled. I drive the 90 minutes out to Bearspaw (stupid rush hour traffic) and get to Miss Sandi’s house.

OMG

I can barley sit still, I am completely flustered from missing my first turn on the back roads, so now I am completely pink. This makeup artist is gonna love me.

Then Ron leads us around a complex maze made up by the camera crew to turn their beautiful house into a television studio. Ron explains to us (another testimonial arrived at the same time as me) that they have TWO kitchens for filming purposes. Seriously? I can barely keep 1 clean.

And then, she’s there. Wow. I am in Sandi Richard’s house. Watching her film a show. Who is that guy she’s talking to? He sounds like a radio announcer…

Oh, we’re filming an infomercial?

I was hesitant after finding this out. I mean, an infomercial? Like Vince, of slap-chop fame? Do I really want to be a part of something like that? But the truth of the matter is, I love these books, I love Sandi’s dinner system. I talk about them to everyone, I’m pretty sure I’ve even tweeted about them on more than one occasion. I’ve always believed the best way to sell something well is to sell something you love.

So, yes, I do want to do this.

Into makeup I go, red as a beet. I tell Frederique to make me look like Jessica Alba, and she laughs, I’m not sure how to take that. Then downstairs to watch the first of 3 testimonials.

The first girl is so pretty I’m sure she MUST already be a tv star. Ron told me a bunch of names, but I was so nervous that I couldn’t remember any of them. She was finished and it was my turn. After being wired for sound in a slightly invasive way, I was sitting on a stool in front of a camera. I must have looked terrified! Everyone kept telling me how beautiful I looked as I shook in my seat.

The host/producer Kent Emmons was cracking jokes trying to loosen me up. Little did they know that once I start talking, I won’t shut up! They seemed to like my answers, and by like I mean they were laughing a lot. So lets hope they were laughing with me right

After my testimonial, Sandi signed a bunch of books for me (seriously I would have done it for free). She hugged me lots, her and her husband are so nice. REALLY nice, I-wanna-move-next-door-and-be-their-friends-nice. They kept thanking me, and I kept thanking them, it was funny.

The best part of the nigh came shortly after. Ron was walking us to our cars, and telling us some of the things Kent Emmons had done previously. He alluded to Kent being close with Brad Pitt and I blanched. Earlier in the evening Kent had asked how I met my husband (he is working on a related project) and I had mentioned in high school he dated one of my friends. He jokingly called me a home-wrecker. I agreed and said that I was all “Angelina Jolie” up in here.

Yup.

So my 15 minutes of fame will be in the form of an infomercial, I may or may not have insulted the producer’s friend, and I was probably as shiny & red as an apple the entire time. All in all, I’m really pleased with how things worked out.

Have you ever heard a song and instantly remembered a part of your past?

That happened to me today while driving. The song was “Lullaby” by The Dixie Chicks. A very sweet song in it’s own right, written, I like to think, by the ladies to their dear little ones. But this song always makes me a little sad.

About 3 years ago, in November or so, I found out that we were expecting. We were overjoyed. Peanut was 2 and we were ready to add to our happy little family.

Shortly after New Year’s I miscarried.

I was devastated.

I was destroyed.

I was so emotionally crushed and wore down, I couldn’t even function. This was my third pregnancy, and my second miscarriage.

All while I was still pregnant, I sang this song to my unborn baby, hoping they would hear the sound of my voice and know that they were loved even before birth.

Everybody was incredibly understanding (except my boss, he was a total asshole, but that’s another story), they said wonderful things like “there was probably something wrong with it anyway” and “at least it happened early in the pregnancy” and the all time winner, “you guys are young, you can try again right away”. PS, these are things NEVER to say to a woman who has miscarried. It is NOT ok, we don’t CARE if anything was wrong with the baby because we WANTED that baby, good or bad, we wanted it.

Fast forward about a year. New job (asshole boss exchanged for crazy boss), new lease on life.

Started trying again, this time ever so much more cautious. Wouldn’t tell anyone including our families about this pregnancy till after 12 weeks. Early ultrasound to make sure there was a heartbeat (love my Dr. and the US tech for their understanding). I won’t listen to that song. Won’t sing it, won’t think about it. I don’t want to jinx this pregnancy. As neurotic as it sounds, I had my reasons. I still don’t think I would have been able to put myself back together after another miscarriage.

I can listen to the song now, and even sing along. I still won’t play it with my kids in the car. I don’t know what I think would happen, but I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s been 3 years, and the hurt is still fresh when I hear this song. I don’t think you ever really get over a loss like that. You just have longer and longer times when it’s easier to think of other things.

If you know someone who’s suffered a miscarriage or stillborn. Please hug them tight and let them cry. As long as it takes. They will appreciate it more than you can know.

I doubt anyone will notice, since I only had one follower, and I’ll just text her to let her know.

I just wanted this to be more than just my fitness journey. I figured here you can read all about my life, my insane kids AND my sweating to the oldies.

Cheers!

Ok then.

I need to start focusing.

I need to focus on 3 things in particular at this very moment.

1. I need to get my house ready to sell. I REALLY need to get my house ready to sell. It is a clutter-bug nightmare. I want to list at the beginning of May, so that gives me around 2 weeks to finish? yeesh.
2. I need to get back on track with my exercising. No more half assing it. My current goal is to work out 4 times this week.
3. I need to get my diet in check. I usually do really good for 2 or 3 weeks, they fall off the wagon and get run over by front and rear wheels. I am going to schedule ONE cheat meal/week, and see if that helps me feel less deprived.

I’m posting this here for a written accountability (even if only to myself) of my immediate goals. It almost feels like throwing a bottle with a note in it out into the ocean. But at this point, this is more for me than anyone else.

Thanks…more to report later,